Monday, 5 March 2012


Our body speaks many languages on its own.  Our physical gestures, while talking to someone, sends positive or negatives indications to the person.  These gestures are the way by which people interpret us.  Positive gestures bring about a feeling of confidence among the persons whom we speak to but some others are interpreted as negative gestures which should be avoided.

Negative physical gestures are the ones which should be avoided at all costs.  The most common physical gestures to avoid are -
·        Looking down while talking to others – This is the most common mistake we make as someone talks to us.  It is usually indicative of disinterest in the subject.  Sometimes it may give the feeling of arrogance to the opposite person.  Always try to see to it that you meet the person in the eye as he talks to you.  Show interest in what he is saying.  It will surely help in facilitating the conversation.
·        Standing close when speaking – This is the most uncomfortable position for a person.  If you are standing too close to a person, it obviously makes that person feel insecure.  Everyone needs that personal space when talking and for this, try to avoid standing too close to a person.  This is all the more serious when you are talking to the opposite sex.  Consider a space of about 4-5 square feet when you are in a conversation. 
·        Looking at the watch or your nails – This is considered to be a sign that you are bored with the subject.  Watching your wrist again and again gives an indication that you want to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.  This brings about negative feelings in the opposite person.  Also, inspecting your nails while the other person is talking is sure to give a negative impact on your personality.  Try to avoid these things while you engage in a conversation.
·        Building that Unseen wall – Most people or students feel comfortable holding a hand bag or notebooks in front of them.  In offices, we may see persons holding their coffee mugs in front of them.  All this indicates a sense of shyness or a feeling of resistance.  It obviously sets up a wall between you and the others.  Try holding these things at your side when speaking or interacting with someone.
·        That Narrow eyes – This is the expression which is found in some people as they gaze at the opposite face.  The narrowing of the eyes brings about an expression of scowling on your face.  It surely is a negative vibe to the speaker as it is considered to be an unfriendly expression.  This expression is normally associated with anger or dislike and brings about a feeling of unwanted by the person.    So the next time you speak to a person, do not narrow those eyes of yours. 
·        Facing the other side when speaking -  Facing the other side when talking to someone is indicative of lack of interest.  It shows that you are not interested in the subject.  Normally, when two persons speak with each other, they face each other.  Facing the side other also gives the feeling of not committed to the subject.  As such, always try to face the person when speaking with him.
·        Scratching your Head – This gesture obviously speaks out as being uncertain on the subject or a feeling of doubt in the mind of the person.  Sometimes it may spell out as being an indication that you are lying.  Avoid this gesture when speaking to your colleague or other important person.
·        A Sluggish Posture – When in a party mood, your stance and your composure becomes absolutely essential.  A sluggish posture with slouching shoulders and downward gaze will surely not help you out.  People associate this with negative and depressive stance.  Always try to maintain an erect posture, place your feet at a comfortable distance, and greet the people with direct eye contact.  Your handshake must be firm and elude a sense of confidence. 
·        Wiping those sweaty hands - This surely is a gesture of nervousness.  If your hands are sweating, do not wipe them on your clothes.  Let them be as they are and try to speak in the normal tone with the person.  Wiping hands on the clothes surely is not the right gesture when in a conversation. 
·        Changing your Sitting position - Changing your sitting position quite frequently is obviously a sign of feeling uncomfortable during the conversation.  This may also bring about an overall negative feeling in the conversation.  Always be comfortable in your seat when speaking.  Do not change your sitting position frequently.  Try to maintain a still and erect sitting posture.

Along with the above gestures, there are certain other ones which one should avoid i.e.
Fidgeting with objects while speaking.
Tapping your feet while in conversation.
Holding up the back of your head with the hands.
Messing up with that shirt collar of yours.

These are all physical gestures that can be controlled through practice and control of the mind.  Try to avoid these gestures as they may not help you out in the long term. These habits have to be taken off as soon as possible.

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