IS MY CHILD REALLY A BULLY?

“Is my child really a bully?”  That is the question that you ask yourself .  You have just received a letter from the school that your child has been bullying along with others.  So what can you do in this situation?

The first thing that comes to your mind is how to stop your child from becoming a bully?  This is an uncomfortable and serious issue that has some deep rooted impact on the relationship of your child with his peers as well as his parents too.  It can cause fear and feelings of hopelessness in your child which has to be removed. 

So how to identify the bully factor in your child?

These are the most common characteristics that you find in a child having a bullying temperament.

·       They always want to be in control of the situation. They do not want to be overpowered by somebody else. 

·       They are easily irritated and vent out their anger at the slightest provocation in any situation. 

·       It is found that these type of children are more aggressive towards the adults as well as their friends.  They are insistent on the way they want it to be.  There is no backing out of the situation. 

·       Another characteristic of bullying is that these children are indifferent and uncompassionate towards their foes or what they call as enemies.  They would go to all means at their disposal to see that they win in their situation.

If the above characteristics are seen in your child, it can be said that your child is a “bully”.  It is time that you talk with him and try to find out solutions to remove that “I” feeling from your child.  Due to these characteristics, the child may not only produce some negative results but it can also impact the future of the child as a whole.

There are a number of methods by which you can try to reduce the negative effects of this trait in your child.

·        Have a talk with him – This is the most important option for you.  Have a talk with your child.  Try to educate him on the ill-effects of bullying.  Tell him that he may well lose his friends by his nature.  Give him some stories to read regarding bullying or show him some You Tube videos on that subject.  Try to paste it into his mind that instead of bullying he should concentrate his efforts on helping others.  Let the child understand what you are saying and what you are trying to say.  Stick with your approach of making him understand his mistakes. 

·        Tell him the consequences – Another method of dealing with “bully” characteristics is to convince the child that his habits or manners may well lead him into serious trouble one day.  Give examples of children being expelled from school due to their bullying.  Also give him an unpleasant peek into his future that may well be the doors of a prison house.  Tell him facts about the prisoners who were once bullies in their childhood.  These may be a little unpleasant on the child’s mind, but it can sure be the right anecdote for him.

·        I am behind you – Always be supportive to your child.  Tell him that you will always support him whenever you find that he is changing his attitude.  Stamp it into his mind that good deeds will always be rewarded and bad deeds would always lead to bad picture.  If you see that your child is changing his ways and manners, support him in any way you can or try to encourage him in his changing manners.

·        Go to the root – Try to go to the root of his problem of bullying.  Find out why he is showing such traits and what the causes of this tendency are.  If you find out the causes, it would be easier to provide him the help in solving these problems.  These causes may range from insecurity in house, problems between parents, friendship problems or friend circle that he has.

·        The Medical option – If you find that your child is still not making changes in his attitude towards others, it is time that you take the appointment of a psychologist who can be a better judge of the child’s mentality.  He can give you the expert advice needed to bring improvement in your child.

Taking these various factors into consideration, it is always helpful for a parent to go by these methods to solve the problem of bullying in the child.  Always remember, it is never late to solve any problems.